I ressurect thee, o blog…

My Wednesday morning Men’s Fraternity group is on a short break for the holidays, but the time I have been spending there has been so valuable to sustaining me through the week that I decided to go ahead and get up at the usual required (and insane) time of 5:30 a.m. (ok, to be honest it was 5:45 today) and spend some quiet time alone in prayer, reading and meditation.  Below, and without further comment are some powerful snippets that really spoke to me this morning as I read from The Sacred Romance: Drawing Closer to the Heart of God.

“Even in your hobbies, has there not always been some secret attraction which the others are curiously ignorant of–something, not to be identified with, but always on the verge of breaking through, the smell of cut wood in the workshop or the clap-clap of water against the boat’s side?  Are not all lifelong friendships born at the moment when at last you meet another human being who has some inkling (but faint and uncertain even in the best) of that something which you were born desiring, and which, beneath the flux of other desires and in all the momentary silences between the louder passions, night and day, year by year, from childhood to old age, you are looking for, watching for, listening for?  You have never had it.  All the things that have ever deeply possessed your soul have been but hints of it–tantalizing glimpses, promises never quite fulfilled, echoes that died away just as they caught your ear.  But if it should really become manifest–if there ever came an echo that did not die away but swelled into the sound itself–you would know it.  Beyond all possibility of doubt you would say, “Here at last is the thing I was made for.”  We cannot tell each other about it.  It is the secret signature of each soul, the incommunicable and unappeasable want, the thing we desired before we met our wives or made our friends or chose our work, and which we shall still desire on our deathbeds, when the mind no longer knows wife or friend or work.  While we are, this is.  If we lose this, we lose all.” –C.S. Lewis

He [God] will save you from the fowler’s snare
and from the deadly pestilence.
He will cover you with his feathers,
and under his wings you will find refuge;
his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart.
You will not fear the terror of night,
nor the arrow that flies by day.
–Psalm 91:3-5

“At some point we all face the same decision–what will we do with the Arrows we’ve known?  Maybe a better way to say it is, what have they tempted us to do?  However they come to us, whether through a loss we experience as abandonment or some deep violation we feel as abuse, their message is always the same: Kill your heart.  Divorce it, neglect it, run from it, or indulge it with some anesthetic (our various addictions).  Think of how you’ve handled the affliction that has pierced your own heart.  How did the Arrows come to you?  Where did they land?  Are they still there?  What have you done as a result?

To say we all face a decision when we’re pierced by an Arrow is misleading.  It makes the process sound so rational, as though we have the option of coolly assessing the situation and choosing a logical response.  Life isn’t like that — the heart cannot be managed in a detached sort of way (certainly not when we are young, when some of the most defining Arrows strike).  It feels more like an ambush and our response is at a gut level.  We may never put words to it.  Our deepest convictions are formed without conscious effort, but the effect is a shift deep in our soul.  Commitments form never to be in that position again.  The result is an approach to life that we often call our personality.  If you’ll listen carefully to your life, you may begin to see how it has been shaped by the unique Arrows you’ve know and the particular convictions you’ve embraced as a result.  The Arrows also taint and partially direct even our spiritual life.” —The Sacred Romance by Brent Curtis & John Eldredge